A Midsummer's Nightmare
by GrnEydDvl
Summary: Sequel to "Misunderstandings". With time running out to separate Hitsugaya Toushiro and Kurosaki Karin, Hinamori decides to act. Magic love inducing chocolate seems to be the key, but what happens when it's left alone? HitsuKarin IchiRuki & crack pairings
1. The Rose

**This story is a sequel to "Misunderstandings," so if you haven't read that, you probably won't understand Hitsugaya and Karin's relationship, or who Haruka is, so you might want to read that one first. But then again, I think you can pick up most of the background pretty easily. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next installment!**

**And yes, the title is a Shakespeare reference to **_**A Midsummer Night's Dream**_**, so if you've read it, you may be able to guess somewhat where this is going, but I promise, it won't be simply a repetition of the play, it's much more interesting than that :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. I only own my own characters and ideas.**

_Prologue_

Hitsugaya Toushiro had four very important women in his life. The first was his fukutaicho, Matsumoto. The second was his fiancé, Kurosaki Karin. The third was his sister, Haruka. And the fourth was his best friend, Hinamori. Now, most men would trade their right kidney to be in Hitsugaya's shoes, but unfortunately, Hitsugaya was not one who had an easy time dealing with the opposite sex. And with so many strong-minded women pulling him in all directions, he rather envied those men who spent their days looking for people to give their kidneys to. Especially, when the women in question began to butt heads.

It all started with a rose. Well, actually, it started long before that, but the rose was the trigger that set the events in motion. More specifically, the rose aroused one Hinamori Momo to act on feelings and desires that had been in place for quite some time, but that she had been too shy and unconfident to do anything about. But with time running out, Hinamori decided that it was time for action.

oooooooooooooooooooo

"Taicho!" Matsumoto sang, bounding cheerily into the office.

"What now Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya asked in a tired voice.

"I've got something for you!" she replied, and with a flourish, placed a brilliant red rose on his desk. Hitsugaya studied the rose for a moment like it was a rather uninteresting piece of paperwork.

"What's this?" he asked, mildly curious. Matsumoto sighed.

"It's a rose taicho," she explained.

"I know that," he said, trying desperately to keep his cool. "What's it doing on my desk?"

"Haruka-chan told me to give it to you," Matsumoto explained. "She got a whole bunch from…"

"I don't need to know which idiot my sister is dating at the moment," Hitsugaya cut her off angrily. "Trust me, it's safer for him if I don't know." Matsumoto chuckled. Hitsugaya Haruka certainly did get around. She had dated nearly every available man in Seireitei (except for the members of 10th squad of course, who valued their lives too much to even look at their taicho's sister), but she had yet to settle on any one of her many admirers.

"And anyway," he continued, "what on earth am I supposed to do with a rose?"

"Why don't you give it to Karin-chan?" Matsumoto suggested. Hitsugaya smirked.

"Karin would think I had a mental meltdown if I gave her a rose. She's not the kind of girl who likes getting flowers."

"All girls like getting flowers taicho," Matsumoto said with a pout. "Why should Karin-chan be any different?" Hitsugaya shook his head.

"Trust me," he assured her. "Karin is my fiancé. I know her pretty well. She would not appreciate receiving a rose from me. She would think I'd gone soft or something."

"It doesn't hurt to be soft every now and then," Matsumoto said.

"Don't you have something productive you should be doing?" Hitsugaya asked, trying to steer the conversation away from his personal life. "Like paperwork?"

"Now that you mention it," Matsumoto mused, "I have somewhere I need to be! Bye taicho!" she cried, scurrying out the door before he had a chance to tell her that where she really needed to be was at her desk tackling the mountain of paperwork that threatened to take over the office. Honestly, Hitsugaya was convinced it had babies when he wasn't looking.

Sighing deeply, he ignored the rose and returned to the form he was filling out.

A little while later, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Hitsugaya said and Hinamori slid the door open.

"Hinamori," Hitsugaya said with a sigh. "Why do you still bother knocking? You know you don't have to." Hinamori blushed slightly,

"Well, I never know if you're in here with someone…" her voice trailed off, and Hitsugaya blushed too as he realized what she was actually saying. By "someone" she meant Karin, and by "with" she meant lip locked. Karin wasn't exactly shy or subtle when it came to romance. When she wanted it, she took it. Violently and forcefully. Hitsugaya usually didn't mind (and by that I mean he was more than willing to comply), but both Hinamori and Matsumoto had walked in on them several times, much to Matsumoto and Karin's amusement and Hinamori and Hitsugaya's embarrassment.

"So, did you want something, Hinamori?" Hitsugaya asked, trying to cover for the awkward moment. Hinamori shook her head.

"Not really. Kar…I mean, taicho forbade me from being in the office this afternoon. She said I work too hard and that I should go visit friends or something."

"So things are working out between you two?" Hitsugaya asked. Karin had become Hinamori's taicho several months ago and as far as Hitsugaya could tell, it was a great match. Karin provided the stress relief that Hinamori so desperately needed. Running the squad all by herself for so many years, especially with all the emotional trauma she had gone through, had been particularly difficult for Hinamori. Hitsugaya had helped her out as much as he could, but the strain was clearly getting to her. Everyone could see that she was not cut out to be a taicho, but there had been no one qualified enough to replace Aizen. Then Karin had achieved bankai, and within a year, she had become proficient enough that Yamamoto soutaicho decided that she was capable of taking the position.

Karin was thrilled to finally be in a squad where she could fight, so she spent a good deal of time training her subordinates while Hinamori dealt with most of the logistics and office work. It was a good system and worked very well, both women playing to their strengths, but Karin was also keen enough to know when the pressure was getting to Hinamori and give her a very well deserved break. Hitsugaya was glad that Karin understood Hinamori's position and was dealing with it so admirably.

"Oh, and I know Karin doesn't mind if you just call her Karin like you used to," Hitsugaya continued. "She doesn't really like all the taicho formality anyway."

"I know," Hinamori said with a sigh, grateful that she could avoid Hitsugaya's question. It wasn't that she didn't like Karin. They had come to know each other rather well in the eight years or so since Karin had come to Soul Society. They both spent a lot of time with Hitsugaya after all, so it had been a natural friendship. And she was very grateful to have a taicho over her, especially one who was as understanding as Karin. But Hinamori was jealous. She couldn't help it. Many people thought that she had been in love with Aizen, but that was a lie, a cover she used to hide her true feelings. Hinamori had been in love with Hitsugaya for as long as she could remember. He was her savior, her protector, her oldest and closest friend, and she loved absolutely everything about him. But she knew her love wasn't returned. So she had loved in silence, watching the budding romance with Karin from the shadows. She had smiled when he told her they were dating, and had offered her congratulations when she found out they were engaged, but really, every time she thought about the couple, her heart started to bleed.

She looked down and spotted the rose on his desk.

"How pretty!" she marveled, picking up the rose and admiring it lovingly. "What an incredible flower. It must have been expensive!"

"Do you want it?" Hitsugaya asked casually. Hinamori's eyes widened.

"But, didn't you get it for Kar…taicho?" she asked surprised. Hitsugaya smirked.

"Honestly, it's as if both you and Matsumoto have never met Karin before. Do you really think she would like something like that?" Hinamori smiled.

"I guess not," she replied, gazing at the rose. "Thank you Hitsugaya-kun!"

"It's Hitsugaya taicho," he said with a smirk causing Hinamori to giggle. They chatted for a few more minutes, then Hinamori left to go find Renji and Hitsugaya returned to his paperwork.

About an hour later, Matsumoto decided that it was time to make another appearance in the office. She slid the door open and put her hands on her hips.

"Taicho," she scolded. "You're still here?!" Hitsugaya sighed.

"Someone's got to take care of all this," he replied, waving a hand at the inordinately tall piles of paperwork.

"Oh!" Matsumoto exclaimed, noticing that the rose was absent from his desk. "I see you finally caved and gave Karin-chan the rose!"

"Of course not!" Hitsugaya spat. "I told you, she wouldn't like it."

"Don't tell me you threw it away!" Matsumoto said in horror. "It was so pretty!"

"I gave it to Hinamori," Hitsugaya said casually. "She liked it." Matsumoto didn't reply. Hitsugaya looked up at her to see her eyes wide with shock and something akin to fear.

"Taicho," she said urgently, all playfulness gone from her voice and expression. "You can't do that!"

"Why not?" Hitsugaya demanded. "What's wrong with…"

"Taicho," Matsumoto interrupted, "Hinamori is your fiancé's fukutaicho! It doesn't matter that Karin-chan doesn't want the flower, you can't just give another woman a token like that!"

"It's not a token…" Hitsugaya said angrily, but Matsumoto cut him off again.

"I know that!" she said. "And Hinamori knows that, and Karin-chan knows that, but you still can't give another woman a gift like that right under your fiancé's nose!" Her words started to sink in, and Hitsugaya found himself panicking slightly.

"I guess I should go do something about this," he said, and Matsumoto nodded. She shook her head and thought to herself,

"Men are so clueless sometimes."

**So that's the beginning, let me know what you think, and hopefully I'll have the next chapter up in a day or so.**


	2. Love Inducing Chocolate

**Thank you everyone who reviewed, you guys make my day!**

Hitsugaya left for 6th squad, remembering that Hinamori said that she wanted to visit Renji. He found him in the dojo, training some squad members, but Hinamori wasn't there.

"Abarai!" Hitsugaya called, and Renji paused right before decapitating a subordinate and turned to look at him.

"Hitsugaya taicho!" he said in surprise. "Do you need me?"

"Have you seen Hinamori?" Hitsugaya asked. Renji nodded.

"Yeah, she was here, but she left. Something about wanting to find your sister. Hitsugaya scoffed.

"Great," he thought. "Now I have to find Haruka. God knows where she's run off to."

"That was a really nice rose you gave her, Hitsugaya taicho," Renji noted. "I assume you got one for Karin too?" Hitsugaya scowled.

"I'm on it, ok!" he barked, storming out of the dojo. Honestly, was he the only person in Soul Society who didn't realize that what he did was foolish? How was he supposed to understand the minds of all the confusing women around him?

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hinamori and Haruka were hulled up in Haruka's room in 4th squad, which she now shared with just Yuzu, Karin having moved into the 5th squad captain's quarters. Haruka was regaling Hinamori with stories of her dates over the past few weeks and both girls were giggling like mad.

"Really," Haruka said with a sigh, "when are they going to learn and stop asking me to be their girlfriend? Don't they know I just date for fun?" Hinamori giggled.

"You're just too popular for your own good," she replied. Haruka heaved a great, dramatic sigh.

"It's a curse I tell you," she said. Hinamori giggled again.

"Oh, before I forget," Haruka exclaimed, "I've thought of a great idea for Onii-chan and Karin's wedding!" Hinamori's joy evaporated at the mention of the wedding and her shoulders sagged slightly, but she tried not to let her change of emotion show on her face. Luckily, Haruka didn't seem to notice, as she was rummaging for something in the closet.

"I was reading this book," she continued. "It's by some guy named William Shakespeare. It's called _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. It's a play actually. It's about two couples. The girls are best friends and both the men are in love with one of the girls, but she only loves one of them back. Her friend is in love with the other. The fairies help them and use a magic flower to make the man fall in love with the friend so that both couples can be happy. But of course, the flower is misused in the process and lots of mistakes are made, so the story's really funny, watching everyone fall in love with the wrong people.

"Anyway, my point is, at the end they have a big wedding and this acting troupe puts on a play for the brides and grooms. So I was thinking, maybe we could do the same! It'd be so much fun, we could get everyone to help us. We could even do _A Midsummer Night's Dream_. So, what do you think?!" Hinamori considered this. Overall, she thought that preparing for a play might take her mind off the actual event. So she agreed, borrowed the book from Haruka, and left to go visit Nemu.

She was just entering 12th squad when she heard someone call her name.

"Hitsugaya-kun!" she said gleefully, turning around to face him.

"Wow, you're amazingly hard to track down, do you know that?" Hitsugaya said, panting to catch his breath. "I run all over Seireitei and finally find Haruka, just to learn that you've already left."

"Well, I don't get many days off, so I want to see everyone," she replied. "Do you want something?"

"Actually," Hitsugaya said awkwardly, not entirely sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "Can you please not tell Karin that you got that rose from me? I don't want her to think anything weird…" he trailed off.

"Oh, Hitsugaya-kun," Hinamori teased. "You don't really think taicho would be jealous of me?!" Hitsugaya shifted uncomfortably.

"She once thought that I was in love with someone else and it nearly broke her," he explained. "I don't ever want to put her in that position again." Hinamori smiled, but it was just on the surface. Inside, her heart was breaking.

"Don't worry, Hitsugaya-kun," she said brightly, trying to hide the pain that welled up inside at Hitsugaya's rare display of thoughtfulness and affection that unfortunately was directed towards someone other than her. "It'll be our secret."

"Thanks," he said gratefully. Hinamori watched his back recede into the distance. She gazed longingly at the rose in her hand and twisted it in her fingers, admiring its blood red color and perfectly crafted petals.

"A magic flower huh?" she said sadly, remembering the story Haruka had told her. "I wish there really was a magic flower that could make people fall in love."

"Well I don't think we have a flower, but we've got something else," said a voice behind her making Hinamori jump.

"Nemu!" she said startled. "How do you sneak up on people so silently…wait, WHAT?! Are you saying you've got a love potion or something?!" she asked hopefully.

"Yes," Nemu replied in her classic monotone. "Follow me." As Hinamori and Nemu walked to the 12th squad storage room, Nemu explained.

"Years ago, Mauri-sama became interested in the effects of human emotion on pain threshold. He wanted to have one person watch while he tortured another and compare their reaction based on the relationship between the two people." Hinamori shuttered. That sounded exactly like something Mauri would do. Nemu continued.

"Mauri-sama thought that it was too bothersome to gather specimens who felt love, hate, fatherly affection, etc…, so he developed drugs to induce those feelings." By this time, they had reached the store room. Hinamori was too interested in what Nemu had to say to marvel at the infinite number of drawers in the room. Nemu searched for a while, then pulled open a drawer.

"Here we are," she said. "Item 31472-C. Love inducing chocolate." She pulled out a box filled with ordinary looking truffles.

"If a person eats one of these," Nemu explained, "they will fall in love with the first person of the opposite sex that they see." Hinamori's eyes widened. Oh the possibilities! But she had one person, and one person only in mind.

"Nemu," she said breathlessly, "can I have one?"

"Here," Nemu replied, handing her the whole box. "Mauri-sama has no more need for them. He lost interest in studying emotions." Hinamori took the box with shaking hands, holding it like it was her first born child.

"Thank you so much!" she gushed. Nemu only nodded.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Chocolate box clutched desperately in her hands, Hinamori shunpoed to 10th squad as fast as she physically could. It was only once she was outside the office that she paused to think. What the heck was she doing?! Hitsugaya was in love with Karin, _her taicho_! They were _engaged_! Who was she to brake them up? And besides, even if Hitsugaya did fall in love with her, how on earth could she start dating him when she had to work with Karin every day? But Hinamori was tired of being quiet and indecisive. She had spent too many years with unrequited love, and right now, before the wedding, was her last chance. Taking a deep breath, she slid the door open.

Hitsugaya was, as expected, working at his desk. He looked up and smirked at her.

"I see you didn't knock this time," he teased. Hinamori flushed, suddenly very nervous. She came over to his desk and pushed the box of chocolates under his nose. Hitsugaya eyed them with the same suspicion he had given the rose, but as this was Hinamori and not Matsumoto, he was slightly more intrigued.

"What's this, Hinamori?" he asked.

"Chocolate," Hinamori replied bluntly, hoping that her face wasn't as tomato red as it felt.

"I can see that," Hitsugaya said, amused at how similar this conversation was to the one he had had with Matsumoto about the rose. "What's it for?"

"To thank you for the rose!" Hinamori said in a rush. He had to eat one soon, or she was going to lose it. Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow.

"Hinamori," he said patiently. "The rose was no big deal. Really. And you know I don't like chocolate." Hinamori flushed, if possible, even darker. She had forgotten that minor detail. But that wasn't important right now.

"Please eat one, Hitsugaya-kun," she said desperately. "For me?" She didn't even bother attempting a puppy dog face. It would have been impossible anyway, she was way too nervous. Hitsugaya looked at her with pity. Hinamori had never been good at giving people things. He decided that, for her sake, maybe he would attempt to overlook his hatred of chocolate and eat one.

"Ok fine," he caved. Hinamori didn't quite feel as relieved as she thought she would. In fact, she was even more anxious. She almost changed her mind that instant, but she determinedly held her ground. She bit her lip in anticipation as Hitsugaya reached out his hand to take a chocolate. But before he could take a bite, the door flew open.

"Momo!" Karin cried, making Hinamori nearly jump out of her skin. "Here you are! Come on, we've got an urgent mission fighting a group of Adjuchas that decided to go for a stroll."

"But…" Hinamori tried to protest, but Karin grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room, pausing only to flash Hitsugaya a warm smile. Hitsugaya shook his head in amusement. At least he was spared the chocolate eating ordeal. He replaced the piece he had taken, pushed the box to the edge of his desk, and returned to his work.

**Next time the madness ensues and the fun really starts. Who do you think is going to eat the chocolate? And who do you think they're going to fall for? Prizes may be forthcoming for those who guess correctly. (Hint: there will be more than one crack pairing in the next chapter.)**


	3. The Fun Begins

**I'm on cloud 9. My friends bought me Hyourinmaru for my birthday. Yes, you heard me right. No, there's no ice dragon, but it's a katana with a four pointed star shaped guard, blue hilt, and green sash with that round gold thing or whatever on it that Hitsugaya wears. I think I'm in love. Just thought I'd share my excitement with people who might actually care, since most of the people I know just think it's strange.**

Deciding that maybe it was actually time to buckle down and do some paperwork before her taicho froze her to death, Matsumoto headed back to the office. It was almost lunch time anyway, so she had a good excuse to leave soon. She came into the office and saw the box of chocolate on Hitsugaya's desk.

"My my, you're certainly getting a lot of gifts today," she noted. "What's with the chocolate?"

"It's from Hinamori," Hitsugaya said grudgingly. "I have no idea why, so don't even ask. Do you want one?"

"Taicho!" Matsumoto said in mock surprise. "What did I tell you about giving other women tokens?" Hitsugaya scowled. Matsumoto chuckled, then swept over to his desk and took a chocolate.

"Wow, this is delicious!" she marveled, chewing with gusto.

"I'm glad you like it," Hitsugaya said absently, his focus back on the report he was reading. Matsumoto, on the other hand, found her attention diverted away from the chocolate and towards the boy sitting in front of her. Why had she never realized how sexy and attractive he was? She felt a rush of passion, stronger than she had ever felt for anyone, flow through her like hot lava and she had a sudden uncontrollable urge to hold him close to her and smother him with kisses. Willpower was beyond her. Her need for Hitsugaya was too great. She sat on the desk and leaned forward, shifting herself so that her bulging "assets," which were normally threatening to spill out of her shirt, were dangerously close to actually doing so.

"Taicho," she said seductively to get his attention. He looked up at her.

"What now Matsumoto?" he asked impatiently, completely unperturbed by her current position. Clearly she was just trying to mess with him. But unfortunately for him, "what now," for Matsumoto was giving into these insatiable urges she was feeling. Which she did without hesitation. She leaned forward and before Hitsugaya even understood the situation he was in, planted a warm kiss on his lips.

"What the hell!" Hitsugaya screamed, swearing for the first time in a long time as he ripped away from her, his face burning with anger and embarrassment. To say that he was confused would be an understatement, but to say that he was furious would be the understatement of the century.

"Taicho, you just look so sexy," she cooed, leaning in for another kiss. But Hitsugaya was ready this time, and pushed himself out of the way before her lips could meet their target.

"Matsumoto, what the heck's gotten into you?" he shouted wrathfully. Matsumoto responded by giving him bedroom eyes.

"Taicho," she said softly. "We work together every day and we know each other so well. I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize it, but now I know the truth. I love you taicho!" she gushed, leaning even farther forward in anticipation. "Please tell me you love me too!" Hitsugaya was seething.

"Get out of here!" he yelled darkly. But for once in her life, Matsumoto had no desire whatsoever to leave the office.

"Come on taicho," she pleaded. "I promise to show you a good time!" She slid off the desk and came towards him, arms outstretched. Now, Hitsugaya had never really enjoyed Matsumoto's hugs, but never before had he fought so hard to avoid one. Pulling away from her before she could smother him, he raced out of the office, shunpoing away from Matsumoto as fast as he could, wondering what on earth was going on.

"Taicho!" she called playfully after him. "I'm coming to get you!" And she followed him out of the office, determined to chase him to the ends of the earth.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Haruka was hungry. As it was around lunch time, she decided to go force her brother to leave the office and come eat with her.

"Onii-chan!" she said merrily as she entered the 10th squad office. But it was surprisingly empty. Haruka pouted.

"Karin must have gotten to him first," she thought. "Those lovebirds." It was then that she noticed the box of chocolates sitting on Hitsugaya's desk.

"I didn't think Onii-chan liked chocolate," Haruka wondered. But the box was clearly open. A piece was even missing. "Well, I'm sure Onii-chan won't mind if I take one," she assured herself. She ate a piece and thought that she had never eaten anything so delicious. She picked up the box to study it, wanting to know where it came from so that she could drop hints that she liked it (Haruka didn't need to buy her own chocolate, she had more than her fair share of admirers to buy it for her.) Haruka was in the middle of her analysis when she heard a voice in the hallway.

"Rangiku-san!" Ichigo boomed. "It's the last day of the month which means the Soul Society newsletter is coming out tomorrow and I still need your article!" As 9th squad taicho, Ichigo was now in charge of the newsletter, something he didn't really enjoy. Particularly since no one got their articles to him until the last minute. Technically, it was the fukutaicho's job to provide said articles, but Matsumoto was so lazy that she usually forgot, so Ichigo had taken it upon himself to remind her. He slid the door open.

"Rangiku-san!" Ichigo said again, opening the door. Haruka looked at him and blinked several times. For some reason, she found herself more attracted to Ichigo than any of the men she had ever dated. She flew to him and wrapped her arm around his.

"Matsumoto-san's not here right now," she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him. "But will I do?"

"Huh?" Ichigo asked confused, still too focused on finding Matsumoto to notice anything unusual about Haruka's behavior. "Well, I guess I'll find her later then." He turned to leave and realized, seemingly for the first time, that Haruka was glued to him.

"Do you want something?" he asked. She flashed him her patented seductive smile.

"Just to be with you," she sang. Ichigo shrugged and headed back to his office, Haruka swinging on his arm with her right hand, while still holding the chocolates, which she had forgotten to put back on the desk, in her left. Ichigo didn't find anything particularly unusual about this. Haruka had been his foster sister for the past two years and she was always physically attached to someone or other. This wasn't the first time she had linked arms with him. But what he didn't notice was the looks she was attempting to give him and the way she squeezed his arm more tightly than usual.

They reached the 9th squad office. Rukia had apparently already gone to lunch as she wasn't there. Haruka placed the chocolates on Rukia's desk then struck a sexy pose, attempting to grab Ichigo's attention, but he was mumbling to himself.

"Stupid Rukia, not even waiting for me to eat. Hey Haruka, want to grab lunch?" Haruka's face lit up.

"Do I ever!" she cried happily, reattaching herself to his arm. In her excitement over being supposedly asked out by her foster brother, she forgot all about the chocolates.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

"Damn it Ichigo, where the heck did you go?" Rukia complained, returning to the office only to find it deserted. "Why couldn't you wait for me to have lunch? Some husband you are!" She plopped herself down into her chair, still grumbling. It was then that she saw the chocolates. She eyed them suspiciously.

"From Ichigo?" she guessed. "No way, since when has he been that sweet?" She looked into the box and smirked.

"Definitely Ichigo," she said amused. "Only he would give me a box of chocolates with two pieces missing. Well, maybe this kind of makes up for ditching me." She took a piece and barely had time to register how savory it was before the door slid open.

"Kurosaki fukutaicho," Kira said triumphantly. "I have my article! On time this month, no thanks to my taicho." Kira placed the article on Rukia's desk. But she didn't look at it. Instead, she was staring at Kira like she had never seen him before.

"Ano, Kurosaki fukutaicho," Kira said with concern over the look she was giving him. "Are you alright?" Rukia's face broke into an enormous grin.

"Never been better," she said happily.

"Are you sure…?" he started to ask, but was cut off due to the fact that Rukia had launched herself out of her chair and into his arms. Kira turned beet red.

"Kurosaki fukutaicho," he gasped. "What are you…?"

"Come on Kira," she said seductively, tracing a line on his face with her finger. "Let's go have some fun together."

"But," Kira stuttered, not exactly sure what was going on. "Kurosaki taicho…"

"Forget about him," Rukia said dismissively. "He's an idiot. It's you I love Kira." Kira gulped. What on earth was he supposed to do? He had another man's wife clinging desperately to his neck. And he was rather afraid of this particular woman's husband. But before he could decide exactly how to pry her off, the door flew open.

"No!" Ichigo shouted angrily. "That's just all kinds of wrong!" Kira jumped a foot in the air, but Ichigo wasn't speaking to him. He wasn't even looking at him. He was speaking to the girl who had her arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

"Aw, come on Ichigo!" Haruka cooed. "Just one kiss!"

"Ew, that's gross!" Ichigo spat. "First of all, you're practically my sister, and second of all, I'M MARRIED!" Haruka shifted her position so that she could look directly at him and gave him her best puppy dog face.

"So," she said slyly. "I'm sure Rukia wouldn't mind, would you Rukia?" she asked. Rukia laughed.

"He's all yours Haruka," she said, not looking away from Kira. "Enjoy him." Ichigo seemed to realize for the first time that Rukia was in the room.

"Rukia!" he cried in shock. "How can you be ok with this…wait, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" he screamed, looking at the position Rukia and Kira were currently in. Kira could see his life flashing before his eyes.

"Wait, Kurosaki taicho," he pleaded, "it's not what you think. I promise!"

"Rukia get the hell away from him!" Ichigo demanded, trying and failing to push Haruka off. Rukia did in fact let go of Kira, but only long enough to land a well aimed punch at Ichigo's face.

"You're not the boss of me!" she insisted, before grabbing Kira's hand and kissing him on the cheek. Both men turned red, one from embarrassment and one from fury.

"Let's go Kira!" Rukia stated, pulling him out of the room. Kira really didn't want to follow her, but getting as far away from Ichigo as possible was undeniably appealing at the moment.

"Wait! Rukia!" Ichigo called after her. He ran from the room, ignoring Haruka, who was still trailing along behind him, bound to his arm.

**So, I started off light with the crack pairings. I know some people don't really consider HitsuMatsu crack, but come on, how many people really come into the 10****th**** squad office? I have a good chunk of the story planned out, but there is definitely room for more couples, so if you have suggestions, I'm open to them. If I like them enough, I may add them. Also, I'm still taking guesses. If you guess one of my pre-planned pairs, I'll write you a oneshot. So where do you think my mind is headed…?**


	4. Trouble in 11th Squad

**Did anybody else feel like episode 168 was just like watching fanfic, cause I did. And just how long were those guys away in the living world anyway if **_**no one**_** remembers them? Sorry, I just need to vent. It was filler anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter, but still. Actually, I shouldn't knock filler, since the whole HitsuKarin thing came from filler in the first place. Hmmm.**

Whistling casually to himself, Renji strolled down the hall towards the 9th squad office, paper article clutched in his hand. He was rather proud of himself for finishing it before lunch.

"Rukia!" he called. "You in here?" Formalities were thin on the ground in 9th squad to begin with, and Renji was too close to both Rukia and Ichigo to care. He threw the door open.

"Guess not," he answered his own question. "Well, I guess I'll just leave it here." He went to Rukia's desk to deposit his article when he saw the box of chocolates. He smirked.

"Must be to thank everyone who gets their article in on time," he assumed. Rukia was not above incentives. Renji picked up a piece of chocolate and studied it.

"It's a shame that it's so hard," he said with a frown. "Chocolate's only really good when it's soft and melty. Well, if I hold onto it for a while, that should do the trick!" He tossed the piece up into the air, caught it back handed, and left the office, still playing with his food.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

"Strawberry-chan!" Yachiru cried cheerily, bounding into the 9th squad office. "I've got my article! It's about Ken-chan…" but her excitement fell as she saw the deserted office.

"Aw," she pouted. "And I wanted to play." But her face lit up almost immediately as she saw the box sitting invitingly on Rukia's desk.

"Chocolate!" she exclaimed, and wasted no time in grabbing a handful and plopping down on the floor to gorge herself.

A while later, Yachiru had eaten more than her fair share, but she still had several pieces remaining.

"Fukutaicho!" called a voice in the hall. "Where did you run off to? Zaraki taicho's looking for you!" The door slid open.

"Ah, there you are!" Ikkaku said. But before he could take a single step into the room, a mass of bright pink had glommed onto him and was kissing every square inch of his bald head and face she could reach with her chocolate covered lips.

"What the hell!?" Ikkaku screamed, thoroughly covered in chocolate lip prints.

"You're so cute, Cue-Ball-chan!" she said gleefully. "Let's play together!" Ikkaku was about to pry her off, when his tongue accidently licked the chocolate that had rubbed off of Yachiru's face and onto the corner of his mouth. And suddenly, he felt more emotion than he ever had in his entire life. For once, he felt something other than the desire to kill. It was strange, but he felt very warm towards Yachiru, like all he wanted to do was be with her and make her happy.

"Sure!" he agreed, lifting her onto his shoulder like a well trained monkey. "What do you want to play?" Yachiru thought about that for a moment.

"Hmm," she mused. "I know! Let's go find feather-chan and tease him about his hair!" Ikkaku smirked at how much that would annoy Yumichka. Normally, he hated when Yachiru bothered them, but for some reason, maybe because it was Yachiru's suggestion, it sounded rather appealing.

"Alright, let's do it!" he cried, and he ran from the office, Yachiru bouncing happily on his shoulder, still holding her handful of chocolate.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Heads turned as they reached 11th squad.

"What's Ikkaku doing with the fukutaicho?" they wondered. "And why's his head covered in brown lip marks?" But they were all too afraid of Ikkaku to actually ask him why he was tickling Yachiru and laughing his head off.

Finally, they found Yumichka.

"Oi, rainbow-head!" Ikkaku called and both he and Yachiru snickered. Yumichka turned around, his head held high.

"I assume you weren't referring to me, Ikkaku?" he said with dignity.

"Hee hee, rainbow-head-chan!" Yachiru giggled. "I like that one better than feather-chan! Ok, it's officially your new nickname. Thanks sweetheart!" she said joyfully, kissing the top of Ikkaku's head. Ikkaku actually blushed.

"How ugly," Yumichka snorted. "What's gotten into you two?" Ikkaku placed his arm around Yachiru, holding her protectively on his shoulder.

"Don't you think the fukutaicho is just the cutest little thing?" he said in a voice that most certainly did not belong to him.

"_Cutest little thing_?" Yumichka said in disgust. Yachiru grinned manically.

"Aw, don't be sad rainbow-head-chan!" she cooed. "Here, have a chocolate!" She tossed him a chocolate from her handful and Yumichka caught it. He eyed it warily.

"Go on," Yachiru prompted. Yumichka sighed then ate the chocolate.

"See, doesn't that make you feel better?" Yachiru said happily. But Yumichka was listening.

"Ikkaku," he gasped. "Why have I never realized how unbelievably handsome you are?!"

"Huh?" Ikkaku said in shock. But it was too late. Before Ikkaku could even get a proper question out, his mouth was occupied by Yumichka's.

"Gross!" Ikkaku screamed, yanking away from Yumichka's kiss. "What the heck are you thinking?!"

"But Ikkaku…" Yumichka said hopefully, but before he could finish, he was being attacked by a very angry Yachiru.

"You leave my sweety alone!" she insisted, biting his head. "He's mine, you hear me! Mine! Come on cutie-pie!" She jumped into Ikkaku's waiting arms, who ran off with her. Yachiru glanced over Ikkaku's shoulder and stuck out her tongue at Yumichka.

"Wait, my love, don't leave me!" Yumichka pleaded, chasing after them. It took a while and several short cuts, but finally, Ikkaku and Yachiru managed to shake Yumichka off their tail.

"Whew, that was ridiculous," Ikkaku panted. "What the heck was he doing anyway?"

"Don't know," Yachiru replied. "But it sure was fun! Ah, Ken-chan!" Zaraki Kenpachi had just turned the corner.

"There you are Yachiru," Zaraki said gruffly. "I've been looking for you."

"Zaraki taicho!" Ikkaku said, startled. "The fukutaicho and I were playing a game." Zaraki raised an eyebrow.

"I can see that," he replied. "What's with the chocolate marks?"

"It's delicious Ken-chan!" Yachiru said excitedly. "Here, have one!"

"I hate choco…" he started to say, but was cut off as Yachiru shoved a piece into his mouth.

"Disgusting!" Zaraki yelled, turning his head away from them to spit the piece out; but not before swallowing some. "Yachiru, I'm going to kill you!" But Yachiru wasn't around to hear his threat. Ikkaku had felt that she was safer being as a far away from an angry Zaraki as possible and had shunpoed away from the scene of the crime before Zaraki had turned back around.

Grumbling angrily about candy and where he would like to see it all end up, Zaraki headed back through 11th squad looking for someone to vent his anger on. (And just in case you're curious, there is only one woman in 11th squad, and that is Yachiru fukutaicho herself, who is currently on the move with her newfound lover/playmate.)

**Kudos to Lillix Vail who correctly guessed Yumichka and Ikkaku! Unfortunately, it doesn't work the other way around because Ikkaku isn't gay, but if you want me to write you a oneshot anyway, just let me know.**


	5. There's Something About Karin

**Two chapters today! Be grateful people! Haha, just kidding. By the way, the other chapter I'm referring to is my new story, "Flashbacks", which I think is going to be much better than this one (I'm not really liking it as much as I thought I would). Anyway, on with the crack.**

Hinamori was petrified. And it wasn't the Adjuchas in front of her that was causing her so much fear. He was taken care of with a single kido spell; not much of a threat. No, what was scaring her so much was the thought of the chocolate box she had left haphazardly on Hitsugaya's desk. Had he eaten one? Had he already fallen in love with someone? And what if someone else had tried a piece? Hinamori didn't want to think of the damage that chocolate could cause. How could she have been so stupid? She should never have followed through on this crazy scheme.

"Death by lightning!" Karin cried beside her, and a bolt of white hot energy shot out of the scythe she was holding, incinerating the two Adjuchas that were bearing down on her. She wiped her brow.

"Well, that's the last of them," she said with relief, coming over to Hinamori. "Thanks Momo." Hinamori could only nod.

"Can we go back now taicho?" she asked hopefully, trying not to sound too anxious.

"Sure!" Karin replied. "We've got nothing else to do here and I've got to write up a damn report on all this." Hinamori stuck out her zanpakto and opened a senkai gate. She followed the hell butterfly thought the door, praying that she would make it back to Hitsugaya before disaster struck.

oooooooooooooooooooo

Unfortunately, disaster was a mild word to describe the situation in Seireitei at this point.

"Damn it," Hitsugaya cursed. "I'm out of good hiding spots!" He had gone everywhere he could think of, but apparently, Matsumoto knew him way to well and had sought him out everywhere he had tried to go to get away from her. And he may be a taicho, but after 1,000 shunpo steps, anyone would start slowing down.

"Taicho!" He could hear Matsumoto call him from a mile away, but it was way too close for him.

"How do I get rid of her?" he wondered frantically. He turned a corner and crashed right into Isshin.

"Hitsugaya taicho!" he exclaimed, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the person he was addressing so jovially had just barreled into him at lightning speed.

"Kurosaki taicho!" Hitsugaya panted. But he didn't have time to chat.

"Do me a favor," he pleaded. "Distract Matsumoto for me." And with that he was gone, turning down the street on the left. Isshin stood there for a moment, scratching his head curiously, when Matsumoto appeared.

"Kurosaki taicho!" she said brightly. "Have you seen my taicho?" It took all of Isshin's willpower to keep himself from bursting out in laugher, but he decided to play along. Hitsugaya was marrying his daughter after all. And besides, if he cooperated, maybe he could force a good story out of him later.

"He went that way," Isshin said, pointing to his right. "He seemed to be in quite a hurry."

"Thanks," Matsumoto said cheerily, disappearing in the direction Isshin had indicated. At that point, Isshin's resolve broke, and he laughed harder than he had in a long time.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Completely oblivious to the madness that was occurring in Seireitei, Renji was still playing idly with his piece of chocolate. Deciding that it was finally soft enough for his liking (it was practically soup by now,) he licked it greedily off his fingers. He was still fishing the last few morsels out from between his fingernails when he heard a voice.

"What the heck are you doing Renji?" Karin asked, raising her eyebrow at his very curious behavior. Ordinarily, Renji would have realized how odd it was that he had his tongue wrapped around his finger, but at the moment, he was way more fixated on something else.

"Karin, did you do something different today?" he asked embarrassed at these unexpected feelings he was having for his friend's sister.

"Huh?" Karin asked in confusion.

"You know," Renji continued awkwardly. "Like your hair or something?"

"Renji, are you feeling ok?" Karin asked in concern. "Do you have a fever?" Renji blushed.

"I don't think so," he replied. "You just…look nice today." He flushed an even darker shade of red. Karin wasn't sure whether to laugh or punch him.

"Ok, what's the catch?" she asked knowingly. "You either want something, in which case you are going about it entirely the wrong way, or someone put you up to this, in which case I want to know who they are so I can pummel them." Renji's face was the color of his hair now.

"No no, nothing like that!" he defended. "It's just…Karin I…" He didn't really know what to say. How had he never realized how much he loved Karin? She had always been like a sister to him. But she was engaged, and far beyond his reach.

"Well, when you feel like telling me, you know where to find me," she said, turning her back on him and walking away.

"Wait!" he cried desperately, then realized that he had absolutely nothing to say to her.

"I'm in a hurry," she said impatiently. "It's my sparring day with Ikkaku, and I'm already late because of those stupid Adjuchas." She continued to walk away towards 11th squad, but Renji trailed behind her like a sick puppy, not wanting to let her out of his sight.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

"Oi, Ikkaku!" Karin called. No one really cared if she shouted, this was 11th squad after all, it was their main form of communication. "Where the heck are you?!"

"Who's screaming in my courtyard?" said a deep voice. "Do you want to fight?" Zaraki came around the corner, zanpakto in hand. Karin was entirely un-intimidated by his imposing figure.

"I've never wanted to fight you before, Zaraki taicho, and I never will, so don't get your hopes up," Karin said with a smirk.

"Are you afraid of me?" Zaraki asked amused.

"If I said I was, would you leave me alone?" she replied. Zaraki laughed a huge, hearty laugh.

"You're not afraid of anything Kurosaki, never have been. So what do you say? I don't know why, but I'm just itching to fight with you today." Karin shook her head.

"No thank you," she stated soundly. "You don't spar, you fight to the death. I like my life, thank you very much."

"Think you're going to lose?" Zaraki challenged. Karin smirked again.

"No," she said coolly. "But it's not worth the risk. Anyway, have you seen Ikkaku?"

"What do you want Ikkaku for?" he asked, suddenly very defensive.

"To spar with," Karin said casually.

"What!" Zaraki growled, causing the earth around them to shake. "So you'll spar with Ikkaku, but not with me!" Karin laughed.

"What's wrong Zaraki taicho?" she chided. "Jealous?" Zaraki's face turned red for the first time in his life, but luckily for him, Karin was too busy laughing to notice.

"Anyway, I'll see you later Zaraki taicho," she said, and turned to go.

"Damn it Kurosaki!" Zaraki called after her. "You're going to fight me if it's the last thing you do!"

"Over my dead body!" Renji cried protectively, jumping in front of Zaraki with his zanpakto raised. There was _no way_ he was going to let Zaraki fight Karin.

**Ok, weird place to end it, I know, but maybe it'll have you coming back for more. Anyway, my hands hurt.**


	6. The True Nature of Their Relationship

**Sorry this chapter took me so long, but I didn't want to write when I was disillusioned with the story. Have you ever had that happen? Anyway, I hopefully will be back on track now, but school's pretty hectic right now, so I'll do the best I can.**

Zaraki looked at Renji with amusement.

"You think you can face me kid?" he said with a deadly smirk. "You're on!" Renji's hands started to shake. What the heck was he thinking, picking a fight with _Zaraki Kenpachi_?! He could make a break for it, but he was too scared to move.

"Prepare yourself!" Zaraki cried, but Renji didn't think he would ever be prepared. He barely blocked the first swipe.

"I'm such an idiot!" Renji thought to himself as Zaraki proceeded to mutilate him in under a minute, leaving him gasping for breath on the floor.

"Heh, you're no fun," Zaraki said, sheathing his zanpakto. "Where's Kurosaki? Now she's a challenge!" And with that, he ran off, leaving a very broken Renji behind.

oooooooooooooooooooo

"Taicho!" Matsumoto sang, her voice echoing loud enough for anyone in a three mile radius to hear her.

"Damn!" Hitsugaya said angrily. "She caught up to me. How'd she find me?" He had come to 11th squad, a place he usually avoided like the plague. They were too brutish and bloodthirsty for his taste. He knew Matsumoto knew that and was sure that she wouldn't look for him here, but there was no mistaking her cry.

"Kurosaki!" he heard Zaraki roar. "Get back here and fight me like a man!"

"I'm not a man and I don't want to fight you!" Karin retorted. "Get the hell away from me! Why the heck do you want to fight anyway? You've never wanted to fight me before!"

"Karin!" Hitsugaya thought with relief. He ran towards the source of their voices and found Karin in much the same state as he was; running away from someone who's motives for chasing her she couldn't fully understand.

"Toushiro!" she said gratefully when she saw him. "Will you help me get rid of the beast?"

"Hitsugaya taicho," Zaraki said hungrily, drawing his sword. "If you want to duel over Kurosaki, I'm game."

"Huh?" Hitsugaya asked flabbergasted and slightly miffed. "What do you mean, 'duel over Kurosaki'? She's not a thing." Zaraki grinned widely and dangerously.

"No she's not," he agreed. "Let's fight over her affections!"

"Affections!?" Hitsugaya and Karin cried at once, then stared at each other in disbelief.

"Zaraki taicho," Karin continued, "I don't know what you think our relationship is exactly, but it is strictly of the taicho-taicho sort." Zaraki grinned ever wider.

"Yeah, well, let's see if we can change that with a good fight!" he said, a crazed look in his eye. Hitsugaya was about to reply, but then he heard the one thing he really wasn't in the mood to hear.

"Taicho!" came Matsumoto's voice from an uncomfortably close distance. Hitsugaya groaned.

"Matsumoto's been chasing me all day," he explained to Karin. "She also seems to be confused about the true nature of our relationship."

"What?" Karin yelled, feelings of jealousy starting to creep up. She had always thought of Hitsugaya and Matsumoto's relationship as the brother sister type; they bothered each other just the right amount and respected each other a little bit more than that. They were wonderful companions and a great fighting team, but Karin had never even entertained the thought of romantic feelings between the two. The thought that Matsumoto had finally shown her true colors bothered her much more than Zaraki's animalistic desire to fight over a potential mate.

"Let's get out of here!" she said urgently watching Zaraki lick his lips in anticipation. She could hear Matsumoto's footsteps charging towards them.

"I'm out of hiding spots," Hitsugaya said desperately. "She's found me everywhere." Mind racing quickly, Karin thought of the perfect place to go. She grabbed Hitsugaya's hand and yanked him away from Zaraki and around the corner.

"Where are we going?" he asked, trying to keep up with her. He was worn out at this point from running for so long.

"Where's the one place Matsumoto always expects you to be?" she asked slyly. Hitsugaya didn't even have to think.

"The office. But why…"

"So that's where we're going," Karin continued. "The 10th squad office."

"What?" Hitsugaya barked. "Why?" Karin simply grinned.

"Because it's the one place she won't expect you to go. It's too obvious." Hitsugaya had to admit, that was a pretty good plan. Even if it only lasted for a little while, having a brief respite from shunpoing around Seireitei would be very welcome.

"Alright," he agreed.

ooooooooooooooooooo

"Wait, Kurosaki, get back here!" Zaraki cried. He started to chase after Karin and Hitsugaya, but stopped short, realizing that he had no idea which way they went.

"Damn it!" he cursed. "Where's Yachiru when I need her?!" Just then, Matsumoto caught up with him.

"Zaraki taicho!" she said cheerily. "Have you seen my taicho?"

"Yeah," Zaraki replied, a little distracted. "He ran off with Kurosaki. Damn, I want to fight her so badly!"

"Karin-chan found him?" Matsumoto asked in surprise, feeling a growing animosity towards her friend that she had never felt before. Why was she the one who had stolen Hitsugaya's heart?

"Which way did they go?" Matsumoto asked, forgetting who she was speaking to. Zaraki scoffed.

"Damned if I know," he said angrily. Suddenly, Matsumoto had one of those ideas that only Matsumoto is capable of.

"Hey, Zaraki taicho," she said, a vindictive smile spreading across her face. "What do you say we team up to search? Taicho and Karin-chan are sure to be together. When we find them, I'll distract taicho and you can pull Karin-chan away for your fight. You know you'll never find them on your own."

"Sounds interesting," Zaraki replied, smiling creepily. "Let's go!" Matsumoto thought for a moment. Now she had lost track of them. Where would they go together?

"Let's try 5th squad," she suggested. "Maybe they're hiding out in Karin-chan's room."

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Hinamori wanted nothing more than to find Hitsugaya and the chocolate, hoping against hope that no damage had been done. She broke away from Karin at the border of 11th squad where she was all set to find Ikkaku and have their sparring session. Hinamori continued at a jog towards 10th squad, but stopped dead at the strangest sight she had ever seen.

Yachiru was sitting on Ikkaku's shoulders, drawing squiggles all over his head. She was laughing hysterically, but the odd thing was, so was Ikkaku. He was actually holding up the jar of pink paint to allow her easy access. Yumichka was sitting beside them, ogling the drawings.

"Fukutaicho," Yumichka pleaded. "Please give me a turn?"

"No!" Ikkaku stated soundly. "Only my love bunny gets to do it!"

"_Love bunny_?!" Hinamori thought with disgust. What the heck…and then it dawned on her. _They had eaten the chocolate_! There was no other explanation for this behavior.

"But if they ate it," Hinamori thought in terror, "who else has?" A shrill voice broke into her thoughts.

"Taicho!"

"Matsumoto-san?" Hinamori thought wildly. "What's she doing in 11th squad? Is Hitsugaya-kun here?" Tearing herself away from the madhouse in front of her, Hinamori ran through 11th squad, searching for Matsumoto and Hitsugaya. However, what she found was not the red-head she expected.

"Abarai-kun!" Hinamori gasped, staring at her friend. He was flat on his back, breathing heavily, body covered in wounds.

"Abarai-kun," she said in panic, kneeling over him. "What happened to you?"

"I…sparred…with…Zaraki…taicho," Renji stuttered. Every word seemed painful to him.

"Hold on," Hinamori said in concern. "I'm taking you to 4th squad." Contrary to her small frame, Hinamori was rather strong. She was a fukutaicho after all. Lifting Renji onto her back and running with him to 4th squad was no challenge for her.

"Hinamori-san!" Isane exclaimed when Hinamori entered the 4th squad hospital with her cargo. "What happened?"

"Abarai-kun got in a bit over his head," Hinamori explained. "Zaraki taicho has never been a particularly considerate sparring partner." Isane didn't need to hear any more. She rapidly gave instructions to several squad members and directed them to take Renji to a treatment room.

"He'll be fine," she assured Hinamori after Renji had been taken away. "His wounds aren't bad." Hinamori knew that, but it was relief to hear it anyway.

"Thanks" she replied.

"So, have you turned in your article for the paper yet?" Isane asked casually. "They're due today, remember."

"The article!" Hinamori yelped. In the midst of all the day's excitement, she had forgotten about it. "Thanks, Isane-san!" And she ran off to turn it in, hoping Ichigo was in a good mood.

**I hope this isn't starting to sound contrived, but I've got to tie it all in somehow!**


	7. The Damage She's Done

**Wow, I have a busy week! Two tests, three papers, with another paper and another two tests next week! Why am I writing you may ask? Because I love you all. Seriously, I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven't started, but I've been updating "Flashbacks" all week and have been neglecting this story, so I decided to write this instead of my paper. Be grateful people! No, seriously, I'm never doing two stories at once again. It's too hard. So now, on with the madness!**

Luckily, Hinamori had finished writing her article the night before. She didn't think it would be possible for her to focus on it in her current state of mind. Dashing into her office, she grabbed the article, and was just heading out of 5th squad when she heard Matsumoto.

"I don't know where they ran off to!" Matsumoto said in exasperation. "Taicho's been hiding his reiatsu all day, and now Karin-chan is too!"

"I thought you knew where they'd be?" Zaraki replied gruffly. "I don't have the energy to search for them much longer. I want my fight with Kurosaki."

"Oh, relax, Zaraki taicho, I'm sure they're around somewhere."

"Why are you looking for him anyway?" Zaraki asked. "Not that I really care, but don't you usually spend your whole life avoiding him? Isn't that why you're always distracting my 3rd and 5th seats?" Matsumoto giggled.

"Yes, usually that's true, but now that I know how much I love him, all I want to do is be with him!"

"Che" Zaraki scoffed. "Whatever, I just want to find Kurosaki." Their voices diminished as they moved farther away from her, but Hinamori was rooted to the spot, frantically processing their conversation.

"Matsumoto-san loves Hitsugaya-kun?" she said startled. "No she doesn't! It's that chocolate, I know it is! And that must be why Zaraki taicho is looking for Karin! Oh no, what have I done!" Hinamori had never felt so bad in her entire life. She had messed with the very precarious balance of Seireitei's romance. But it wasn't until she left 5th squad and entered 9th that she realized just how much damage she had caused.

"Rukia!" Ichigo cried.

Hinamori checked at his voice and paused right before opening the 9th squad office door, not wanting to butt in on what was clearly a very serious conversation between husband and wife. Ichigo's voice rarely had so much emotion in it. Or so much pain.

"What do you want?" Rukia spat unpleasantly. Again, Hinamori was shocked. Sure, Rukia and Ichigo fought all the time, but she had never heard Rukia sound so spiteful.

"Rukia," Ichigo said again in desperation. "What's gotten into you?"

"I just don't love you anymore," she said flatly. "I love Kira." Hinamori could almost see the grief lining Ichigo's face. It was similar to the expression currently decorating hers.

"But…" he stuttered. "But _I'm_ your husband! Not Kira! I thought…"

"Well whatever you thought, Kurosaki Ichigo, you were wrong!" Rukia retorted. "I don't know why I put up with you, you're an uncouth pain-in-the-neck and a lazy taicho."

"I thought those were the things you loved about me," Ichigo mumbled. Hinamori was feeling very invasive, and knew that she should walk away, but she almost felt like hearing this conversation was penance for the pain she had caused her friends. She knew that it wasn't tormenting her as much as it was them, but it was close.

Rukia laughed, but it wasn't her normal laugh. It was more evil and cruel, and not fitting at all.

"Maybe once I felt that way, but now I know better. I'm a Kuchiki. I should have listened to Ni-sama, he told me you were no good. Kira's from 1st district, from a noble family. He's much more suited to me!"

"Rukia, where the hell are you getting all this?" Ichigo barked, finally getting angry. "_You're_ the one that was so keen on getting married, _you're _the one who fought Byakuya tooth and nail when he opposed our relationship, _you're _the one who said being a Kuchiki didn't matter to you, and _I'm the son of a bloody taicho_! If you still want to walk out that door, I'm not going to stop you, but I think I deserve a better explanation than a bunch of made up excuses!" Rukia sighed.

"Your right," she admitted. "About the fact that I'm a Kuchiki being unimportant. But really, I already told you. I just don't love you anymore."

"Fine!" Ichigo bellowed. Hinamori moved out of the way just in time to avoid being mauled by a ferocious Ichigo as he ripped the door off the wall in his outrage and stormed down the hall.

"Oh, hello Hinamori," Rukia said genially, spotting her in the hallway. "Men are so troublesome aren't they?" Hinamori couldn't even nod. She blinked stupidly at this person who was once her friend and was now…a love struck terror, blind to everything but the false object of her affections. She barely registered Rukia walking past her, saying something about going to find Kira who had disappeared. In fact, it took her a full five minutes to realize that she was standing in front of a destroyed office clutching a rather mutilated article in her hand.

Regaining some semblance of control, she entered the office to deposit the article on Rukia's desk. It was then that she saw the remnants of the chocolate. A lone piece sat in the box. The rest had been consumed by her friends, and caused more harm than she could ever have thought possible.

"I'm such a fool!" she cried angrily, but there was nothing she could do. The damage was done. She stared at the solitary piece of chocolate in her hand, and rotated it around in her fingers, examining it from all angles.

"Who knew how powerful you really were?" she said with a sigh.

She had to do something. It was her fault that all her friends were suffering, so it was her responsibility to fix it. Decision made, she headed for 12th squad, hoping that Nemu could help her.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What do you mean there's no antidote!" Hinamori cried. Nemu stared at her.

"I'm sorry, Hinamori fukutaicho, but Mayuri-sama had no need for an antidote. He disposed of the test subjects after he was done with them." Hinamori was too busy being distraught to think about how vile a thought that was.

"Thank you, Nemu," she said, utterly defeated. Dragging her feet, she headed out of 12th squad, glaring at the evil piece of chocolate she still clutched in her hand.

Then a thought struck her.

One piece. One last piece. That was all she wanted wasn't it? A single piece to make Hitsugaya fall desperately in love with her. The damage was done. There was nothing she could do about it. Maybe, just maybe, there was still hope that _something_ good would come out of today. Subconsciously, her feet carried her to the one place where she knew she could always find Hitsugaya-his office.

She heard laughing as she reached the door, but she was sick of eavesdropping and opened the door without pausing to think who the laugh belonged to.

Karin was sitting on the couch, Hitsugaya's head cradled in her lap. She was holding his hand in one hand and stroking his hair with the other. Her face was glowing and Hitsugaya's eyes were alight with joy. Karin looked up when she heard the door open.

"Momo!" she said in surprise, entirely ambivalent to the fact that Hinamori had just broken up the most romantic scene she had ever witnessed. And Hinamori couldn't take it anymore. Eyes welling up with tears, she fell to her knees.

"I'm so sorry, Hitsugaya-kun, taicho," she bawled, her shoulders shaking. "I should never…I mean, I've been such a fool…" Hitsugaya and Karin glanced at each other with concern, then Karin extracted herself from the couch and went to place a comforting arm around Hinamori.

"Relax Momo, I can't possibly imagine you doing anything wrong. Trust me, if you misfiled one piece of paperwork, no one is going execute you." Usually, the bit of humor would have cheered Hinamori right up, but she was beyond that. Karin looked at Hitsugaya for assistance, but he shook his head helplessly, baffled by women and their emotions.

"Taicho," Hinamori sobbed. She had to confess. It was the only thing that could possibly make her feel better about what she had done. "I…I tried to steal Hitsugaya-kun from you! I got this chocolate from 12th squad that makes you fall in love with people, only…only so many people ate it, and now everything's all wrong…And Nemu says that there's no antidote..." Hinamori was expecting Karin to punch her, shout at her, or possibly direct a bolt of lightning at her head, but instead, Karin started to laugh. That, and only that, could have shocked Hinamori out of her depression.

"So that's why Zaraki taicho wanted to fight me so badly," she said as understanding dawned on her. "He's in _love_ with me! And Renji too!"

"And Matsumoto," Hitsugaya chimed in, not nearly as amused as Karin. "It definitely explains everything. But Hinamori, why?" Hinamori couldn't answer that.

"Because I…" she stuttered. She had confessed everything else, why not this. "Because, Hitsugaya-kun, I lo…"

"Cut!" Yuzu cried.

"Again?" Haruka said in exasperation as everyone else groaned.

"I'm getting a drink," Hinamori said, moving Yuzu's arm off of her shoulder and taking a cup of tea from Rukia. Hanataro pulled off his white wig and scratched his head furiously.

"Maybe I should line it with something," he said thoughtfully. "It's so itchy."

"What's wrong this time?" Haruka asked Yuzu impatiently. "The wedding's tomorrow!"

"I just don't like the ending," Yuzu insisted. "I think we should change it."

**Made you look! Bet you weren't expecting **_**that**_**! (If you're still confused, read the end again and all will be explained in the next chapter. I'm not spelling it out for you now because I'll do that later.)**


	8. Everything is Explained

**Last chapter!**

**This chapter will hopefully explain everything weird about the end of the last one. **

Hinamori and Haruka were hulled up in Haruka's room. Haruka was regaling Hinamori with stories of her dates over the past few weeks and both girls were giggling like mad.

"Really," Haruka said with a sigh, "when are they going to learn and stop asking me to be their girlfriend? Don't they know I just date for fun?" Hinamori giggled.

"You're just too popular for your own good," she replied. Haruka heaved a great, dramatic sigh.

"It's a curse I tell you," she said. Hinamori giggled again.

"Oh, before I forget," Haruka exclaimed, "I've thought of a great idea for Onii-chan and Karin's wedding!" Hinamori's face lit up at the mention of the wedding. She was so happy and excited for the couple. She couldn't wait for her childhood friend to finally marry the girl of his dreams. Haruka rummaged for something in the closet.

"I was reading this book," she continued. "It's by some guy named William Shakespeare. It's called _A Midsummer Night's Dream_."

"Oh, I've read that one!" Hinamori said. "It's hysterical!"

"Isn't it!" Haruka agreed. Anyway, I was thinking, maybe we could put on the play at the wedding. You know, like they do in the story. It'd be so much fun, we could get everyone to help us." Hinamori considered this.

"Actually," she said thoughtfully, "wouldn't it be more fun if we wrote our own play?" Haruka squealed with glee.

"EEEEE, you're so right!" she said eagerly. "Let's do that!" Hinamori looked down at the rose in her hand, and an idea struck her.

"I know exactly where to begin!" she said mischievously.

oooooooooooooooooooo

"No!"

"But Ikkaku," Haruka pleaded.

"NO! I agreed to help with your little project because it's Karin's wedding and everything, but there is absolutely NO WAY I'm kissing Yumichka!" All the actors were gathered in the 9th squad office, discussing plans for the play.

"Actually, he's the one kissing you," Haruka pointed out. Ikkaku scowled.

"Why are we in my office again?" Ichigo groaned. Rukia rapped him on the arm.

"Don't whine," she reprimanded. "It's not like you'd be working anyway."

"I like it!" Yuzu said excitedly, flipping though the script Haruka and Hinamori had prepared. "So I'm playing Karin-chan?"

"We thought that was best," Hinamori told her. "You know her so well and everything. Plus, we just couldn't bring ourselves to mess with you and Hanataro, so it was the only way to get you in the play." Yuzu giggled and nudged Hanataro.

"And you get to be Toushiro-kun, that's so cute!" she said happily. Hanataro blushed.

"Do I really have to kiss Matsumoto-san?" he asked painfully, and the whole room burst out laughing.

"Of course not," Matsumoto said amused. "Haven't you ever heard of a stage kiss?"

"Stage kiss?" Isshin asked with interest. Matsumoto sighed, then wrapped her arm around Hanataro's head and kissed him. The whole room gasped and Yuzu checked, but when Matsumoto pulled back, she left her hand in place, visibly covering Hanataro's mouth.

"See," she explained. "I just kissed my hand. Yumichka will do the same Ikkaku."

"Oh," Ikkaku said, scratching his head. "I still don't like it."

"Mmmmm" mumbled Hanataro, waving his arms frantically, trying to pull off Matsumoto's suffocating hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry Hanataro!" Matsumoto exclaimed and the room burst out laughing as Hanataro gasped for breath.

oooooooooooooooooo

Masaki walked onto the stage. She looked out over the audience, which consisted mostly of 4th, 5th, and 10th squads and the taichos and fukutaicho's who weren't in the play. Karin and Hitsugaya were sitting in the front row, dressed in wedding kimonos and looking happier than Masaki had ever seen them. She smiled at how lucky she was; despite dying when her children were so young, she had been able to attend two of their weddings. And the third wedding was expected to occur shortly, as soon as Hanataro got over his fear of himself and built up the courage to propose.

"Go on Kasan!" Haruka encouraged from backstage. Everyone was eager for the play to start. Masaki grinned. Now _that_ child was going to take some work.

Taking a deep breath, Masaki began the prologue.

"Hitsugaya Toushiro had four very important women in his life…"

oooooooooooooooooooo

Hinamori burst onto the stage. Hanataro, in his white wig, was lying on a couch, his head cradled in Yuzu's lap.

"Momo!" Yuzu cried. Hinamori gaped at them, then fell to her knees, tears forming in her eyes.

"Taicho," Hinamori sobbed. "I…I tried to steal Hitsugaya-kun from you! I got this chocolate from 12th squad that makes you fall in love with people, only…only so many people ate it, and now everything's all wrong…And Nemu says that there's no antidote..." Yuzu laughed heartily.

"So that's why Zaraki taicho wanted to fight me so badly," she said, a look of understanding forming on her face. "He's in _love_ with me! And Renji too!"

"And Matsumoto," Hanataro chimed in, trying to look un-amused. "It definitely explains everything."

"Momo, you say there's no antidote?" Yuzu asked patiently. Hinamori nodded. Yuzu looked at her curiously.

"Well, then we'll just have to make one, won't we?" she said. Hinamori looked up at Yuzu expectantly.

"Taicho," she said hopefully, her tears breaking.

"Momo, I was a member of 4th squad for quite a while. I know how to make antidotes. Do you have any of that chocolate left?" Hinamori paused for just a second, then reluctantly passed Yuzu the chocolate.

"Thanks," she replied, then headed to the desk in the corner. Yuzu, being a kido master herself, built a small but visible barrier around the innocent piece of chocolate. It was much better than any normal prop. Hinamori watched anxiously.

"Done!" Yuzu said finally. "This piece has been altered to counteract the effects of the other ones. If anyone who ate the chocolate eats some of this piece, they'll go back to the way they were. Momo."

"Yes taicho?"

"Gather everyone together," Yuzu said importantly.

"Alright," Hinamori said with a small blush.

ooooooooooooooooooo

Matsumoto, Rukia, Haruka, Yumichka, Ikkaku, Yachiru, Zaraki, and Renji were all standing around Yuzu, who was holding out small slivers of chocolate. Hinamori was standing in the corner looking very nervous, next to Hanataro who had his arms crossed.

"I need all of you to try this for me," Yuzu ordered. "And I know you don't like chocolate Zaraki taicho," she preempted. "But if you eat this, I'll spar with you!"

"Chocolate!" Yachiru said excitedly.

"Don't hog it!" Yuzu warned.

"Is this the same chocolate that was in the office before?" Haruka asked expectantly.

"Yes," Yuzu replied with a sly grin.

"Alright! This stuff is good!" she replied, gladly taking her piece. Eventually, everyone had eaten one, and Yuzu exchanged an anxious look with Hanataro.

"Oh, oh god," Rukia cried, grabbing her head. "I said _horrible_ things to Ichigo! What was I thinking? I've got to find him!"

"I'll come with you," Haruka said reluctantly. "I said some weird crap to him too. Don't know what came over me today."

"Kurosaki, you still up for that fight?" Zaraki asked hopefully.

"No!" Yuzu stated soundly. Zaraki shrugged.

"Whatever. Maybe I'll find your brother instead."

"Get off me, you animal!" Ikkaku shouted at Yachiru, pulling on her. She clung to him for dear life, until Zaraki said,

"Let's go Yachiru!"

"Alright Ken-chan!" she said joyfully, leaping from Ikkaku and landing easily onto Zaraki's back.

"You and I have some things to discuss!" Ikkaku said vehemently, rounding on Yumichka. He simply sighed.

"You need to learn to lighten up, Ikkaku," he replied haughtily. "It's not beautiful to be so angry." Ikkaku growled.

"Looks like everyone's back to normal," Yuzu said with relief.

"Thanks to you taicho," Hinamori said, beaming at her.

_Curtain_

oooooooooooooooooooo

Everyone in the play stood on stage, bowing, as the crowd gave them a standing ovation.

"So Onii-chan, what did you think?" Haruka asked, as she and Hinamori came over to Hitsugaya and Karin.

"Very impressive," he replied, and Haruka beamed.

"I can tell you worked really hard on it!" Karin admired. "Thanks you guys. I can't believe you convinced Ikkaku to do that!" Hinamori laughed.

"It was rough there for a while taicho," she said. "But it worked out in the end."

"There was one thing I didn't like though," Karin mused. "I thought the ending was too trite. It would have been neater if there really was no antidote, and everyone was just stuck like that." Hinamori's jaw dropped open, and Haruka scowled.

"Yuzu!" Harkua screamed. "Where are you? Why did you make us change the ending!"

**And bow.**

**I hope you had fun! Thank you everyone who read both this story and "Misunderstandings". Your reviews got me through this even when I wasn't enjoying it so much. By the end though, I think I was liking this story a lot more. Writing crack is hard. Anyway, thanks again for sticking with me, and I hope to see you in some of my other stories. You guys keep me going, so thanks for your support!**


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